Solitude

Catalina Island - May 2005

Sometimes it's nice to be alone.  Time on my own to reflect on life and just think can be a pleasure in this hectic world.  I've chosen to have a bit of "me" time this week. Sometimes I feel alone in a crowd.  I have plenty of wonderful friends and family to spend time with and share life's moments, yet a lonely, hollow void remains inside me, which (I feel) can only be filled by the union of two souls that lasts through time. On occasion I feel sad in my emptiness.  

Many times,  I am reminded there may be others worse off than me.  I was picking out juice at Wal-Mart this evening when a fellow shopper decided to strike up conversation and he went on pointing out which juices he liked best, introduced himself with a friendly handshake and wished me a happy Thanksgiving holiday. Later, he passed me as I was setting a block of swiss cheese in my cart.  He offered to smoke some turkey legs for me tomorrow and I smiled and told him I would be having chicken at my brother's house.  He replied, telling me many people are doing things different this year.  I glanced in his cart and saw a package or two of individual turkey legs among a few other assorted goods and wondered if he would be having a feast for one on this holiday of thankful gatherings.  I soon began to wonder how many other individuals might be having solitary festivities tomorrow and my heart sank.  I have felt the sorrow of feeling alone, but to be truly alone must surely magnify the pain.  I wanted to weep at the thought. Perhaps next time I am feeling the emptiness of self pity, I should look outside my self to fill another's void.